Tis the Season

There are times in our lives that we have conversations with others, namely friends, family, or spouses that seem to be thoughts escaping without restriction... or is it just me? .... No, it's most people!
Thankfully, I have a phenomenal few that can appreciate my sense of un-restricted thoughts that escape.
One recent predicament that I have found myself in is the all-consuming Christmas season. It used to be this magical time of year that smelled so wonderful. The anticipation, the homemade peanut butter balls that my Aunt Kerry makes that are a bazillion times better than "reses pb cups"
Anyways.... Ben and I had the talk, you know the one where you discuss, or thoughts running out of your head about how much to spend on "gifts"
We came to the conclusion... about a month or so ago on a budget of $600. I thought this was fair... Now, I am not the type to discuss "money" I feel as though there are soooo many people out there that I have encountered that have such heavy issues with money and it really bugs me. We are not "well off" by any means, but we choose not to put such a damper on "Mughnee" (say it slowly.. you'll laugh harder!)
Okay.. on with my story.. The other day we were discussing again our ideas and amounts of Christmas money and when I brought up the $600 figure, my sweet fair skinned husband turned the most pale color of white followed by green I had ever seen, all while coming out of his mouth.. "SiX HuNdReD DoLlArS" what...? he exclaimed. Then he swallowed the lump in his throat! But we have your family, and mine and 3 of my nephews' birthdays and our friends and, and, and.........
Well, my frustration set in when I started to try and figure out what I could say to ease the pain he was feeling in his wallet! And then I got MAD!
As I am trying to go over all the wonderful people we choose to buy for and what would be the most perfect gift and how exciting it should be to give them a wonderful well thought out gift... it hit me!
I have a family.
I have a family... a husband and a daughter( and a dog).
That I love more than anything... I would do anything to ensure their happiness, but as for christmas... who comes LAST.... DEAD LAST on my list of things to buy for? My #1's...
How does this happen, where has my mind, my reasoning gone? So it is my duty as a wife and a mother to make sure that my family, my little family is happy and well taken care of in rejoicing in the Spirit of Christmas and establishing traditions that I have grown up with that I can't help but think back and smile about! So Ben and Lucy.... This Christmas is for you... and then whatever we have left.. we'll make due for others.