Day 36 of 60lbs

I did weigh in on Thursday.

I was down
8 lbs
total for the 1st month.

Although that is a feat in itself, it is not quite the 10 that I need to make the goal of 10 pounds a month for 60 in 6. I am a little bummed. I totally regressed these last few days. I was feeling pretty down and defeated and I ate Oreo's, and some other stuff.
Then I got a call from my former lovely neighbor Mary.
She reminded me to
"talk nice to your body."

I am not talking nice to my body, and I am certainly not thinking good thoughts about my body. I am going to change that. I know that the power of positive thinking WILL manifest whatever I want.

I KNOW this, I believe this, I am witness to this in my life.

My self-image has always been negative.
At 10 years old I have very vivid memories of thinking "my thighs are huge"
I believed it, and I thought others did as well.
I went through some challenges in my freshman year of High School. I was borderline anorexic. I harbored many emotions that were swirling around me constantly. Things and emotions that some people should not have to endure in their lifetime, let alone while in crucial teenage years. I was scared, and I deserved validation for my endurance. It really never came, and so I turned to a place where I could control something- food.
Luckily the anorexia passed without any repercussions, but the desire for an "ideal" body image remained so devastatingly skewed.
I am still in that place of a skewed body image. I know that. I accept that. And I am going to change that. But I am changing that in a way that is healthy and real.
I am not after a celebrity body image. I am after Wholeness.- like "Remembering Wholeness"
I deserve the things that I desire as long as they are in line with what is good and my intentions are pure.
My intentions are pure here and I desire a healthy body and an even healthier body image.
There are days when it is really hard. There are days when I feel like I am on a high because I am so proud of myself. I wish those days came much more frequently. And I know that in time they will and I will be able to leave these negative thoughts in a very distant past.

I am going to work on
"talking nice"

My body deserves that. My energy deserves that. My family deserves that.

So here is to talking nice and re-adjusting my thoughts.

Happy Monday.