Thursday, February 24, 2011

Pace Car

My pace is changing.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about my "pace cars," you know, those people whom you look to for strength, for the "okay" to keep going, or stop. or turn, or U-turn.
I am realizing though that my pace cars are/ have changed. Or maybe I have. Or maybe both. My pace is different than those I used to look for.

Life pace is so different from other comparisons. It lasts longer. It is more significant.
I am independent and drive my own car, but I also am cautious. I always have been.
I am sad though sometimes when the other pacers change direction and we aren't going the same places anymore. Not any better or worse, just different. It makes relationships change.

I do like new pacers though. Sometimes they are really fast and I just want to keep up cause the ride is super fun and exhilarating. It's how we choose new adventures, expand capabilities, and grow. I like growing. Lucy asks me almost everyday if I too am growing. I always say I am. Although she means it in relationship to my body, I say yes because I am growing, in a less-literal sense but still I am. She tells me that she doesn't want to grow. I don't know why? But I always respond with, "you can stay this size for a while."

Sometimes it takes me a while to adjust to new changes, and accept them. But it is always changing,... this life, my thoughts. The less drastic changes are easier and the bigger ones are where I dig my heels in a little more, but eventually I get accustomed to my new pace. And right now even though I am changing, I am in the comfortable part of the change. And I like it. It feels good right now.

So, to those of you whom I once looked at for a "pace" thank you. To those now whom I am looking to for guidance and direction, thank you. To those who will be my forever pacers, thank you the most.


mary.liz said...

Great analogy! Just remember you don't have to keep up with anyone or even go the same route! As long as you are moving in the right direction (which I know you are!) that is all that matters! You are amazing!

Miss you much!