Pace Car

My pace is changing.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about my "pace cars," you know, those people whom you look to for strength, for the "okay" to keep going, or stop. or turn, or U-turn.
I am realizing though that my pace cars are/ have changed. Or maybe I have. Or maybe both. My pace is different than those I used to look for.

Life pace is so different from other comparisons. It lasts longer. It is more significant.
I am independent and drive my own car, but I also am cautious. I always have been.
I am sad though sometimes when the other pacers change direction and we aren't going the same places anymore. Not any better or worse, just different. It makes relationships change.

I do like new pacers though. Sometimes they are really fast and I just want to keep up cause the ride is super fun and exhilarating. It's how we choose new adventures, expand capabilities, and grow. I like growing. Lucy asks me almost everyday if I too am growing. I always say I am. Although she means it in relationship to my body, I say yes because I am growing, in a less-literal sense but still I am. She tells me that she doesn't want to grow. I don't know why? But I always respond with, "you can stay this size for a while."

Sometimes it takes me a while to adjust to new changes, and accept them. But it is always changing,... this life, my thoughts. The less drastic changes are easier and the bigger ones are where I dig my heels in a little more, but eventually I get accustomed to my new pace. And right now even though I am changing, I am in the comfortable part of the change. And I like it. It feels good right now.

So, to those of you whom I once looked at for a "pace" thank you. To those now whom I am looking to for guidance and direction, thank you. To those who will be my forever pacers, thank you the most.