Day 52 of 60lbs

I am wanting to take some supplements, but every time I read the labels they say "consult a physician if you are pregnant or breastfeeding"... luckily I am the latter! I am almost done... Peter is 11 months-on saturday- and he is becoming less interested. Sometimes.
I really am ready to be done. And wonder if he is getting much benefit as irregular as it happens anyways.?

We know a bunch of physicians... Maybe I will consult with them? Dave are you reading this? Cordell are you reading this? Cindy is your hubs reading this... or could you ask him? Gheesh... I know a few more... does anyone want to put their 2 cents in here?
I want to take a supplement called Guarana. Unfortunately, it contains caffeine (naturally)- don't judge too hard yet- take a look at the research and then decide. But I am worried about Peter.

I am feeling a little bit like my body is starting to "plateau"- I don't like that word in this context, but suppose it is true.
On the other hand I believe that I am a contributing factor to this plateau.
Ugh
Will the supplements help? Will I be less hungry and have more energy? I don't really know.

Is it weak of me to reach out for something other than diet and exercise (that is safe/healthy)? I want to be an inspiration to myself and whomever else but does this make me less?

I don't know?

P.S. we are gerbil sitting. Gross. Double Gross.

Day 51 of 60lbs

I posted about what I love to put in my mouth yesterday. So, today I am going to give you a little of what I listen to on my purple i-pod!

LISTEN to the lyrics.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAiMtxNgAJg

I told you they are A.W.E.S.O.M.E

I love the BEP's and Jillian, but you already knew that.

"Let's catch amnesia"

Day 50 of 60lbs

I found a new love.

and only 140 cals!

This will do when I am in NEED of some sweetness.

We had a good time in Columbus this weekend. Complete with a trip to Old Navy- we are without here in Charleston!- I know ridiculous huh? Exactly.
I found some super cute sunglasses for Lulu, Peter a hat- which is freaking adorable by the way, and Superman 2 pairs of jeans- that could be an entire post itself!
Nothing for me... I am saving my spending for 10 pounds later!- that'll hopefully be next month when we go to Seattle to have some Barker Boy Birthday bonding! 3 boys birthday's in 6 days! whoohooo!
Sea-town has much better shopping and hopefully I will be in a good place to buy some cute clothes that fit the way that I want them too!

The sun was bright and shiny yesterday and you could feel the 50 degree warmth on your skin! It was so nice. SO NICE. We even took a walk in the little red wagon. It'll get us through for a while... since there is no end in sight for warmer days again. I know spring is coming though because my tulips are about 2 inches above ground!
I will end with this quote:
" An optimist is the human personification of spring"- Susan J. Bissonette

I like it. I love it. That is good. Time to apply.

Day 47 of 60lbs

The sweet sun came out today.

ALL DAY.

I am better than yesterday thank goodness.
We watched the men's figure skating last night. I stayed awake to see Evan Lysacek and then fell asleep for Plushenko... Superman forgot to wake me up. I kind of was bummed but was glad that Evan won the GOLD!

Here is OUR future Gold medalist!

I am doing good. I weighed myself again today... thankfully the scale was working today, unlike yesterday, and I am MUCH much MUCH better! I am going to put that towards next weeks weigh-in since today technically is day 1 of the "new" week.

We are off to Columbus Ohio tomorrow to visit the Temple. We need it. Next month we are going to visit family in Seattle and go to the Temple in Bellevue- where we were married!

See you next week!

Day 46 of 60lbs

The list was a success. 2 days in a row successful.

Then today came.

I was tired when I awoke.

I tried making it go away.

Then I got to the gym and was about to begin my warm-up on the treadmill, Crap! My purple i-pod is out of juice.

*** At that very moment it was so clear to me, "you have a choice to let this get to you, or not"... unfortunately, as much as I tried swimming out of the tide pool of "i am going to be okay without my music," it sucked me right in.

And then subsequently the rest of my day has suffered.
But not without a visit to the DMV-aka -deathville.

It took all my conscious to withhold the negativity in my brain not forming into words to the woman behind that cage. - you know they have those cages for a reason I am sure. I AM SURE.

I came home with a headache.

I wanted to take a nap, but the kids are on opposite nap schedules and when Lucy woke up Peter I lost my patience with her. I then apologized.

These non-sunny days are beginning to ware on me.

Oh, and I am NOT down any weight from last week.

Today I am feeling grim, and I want to throw in the towel.
If I am going to reach my goal, I have some serious catching up to do. I need to re-track my thoughts and power of positive-ness.

I am going back to the gym tonight... I need another 45min cardio buzz.
Maybe that will make it all better?

Tomorrow Tomorrow I'll be better tomorrow it's only a day away!

Tomorrow

Day 44 of 60lbs

I made a list this morning.
A long list.
A list of things that I want to do today.
It started like this: I was at the gym early (around 7am), I thought instead of just looking at my circuit training routine I would actually read the book while on the bike. I have read through it before. It is really good. I mean REALLY good. I know that it is no secret that I LOVE Jillian Michaels, but she is truly a genius.
A few years ago I did a lot of "self-healing" and it goes deeper than just reading some books or talking nice to myself or about others. It was deep. I know myself better than I would like to at times but I do and I am proud of that.
Some days, I am haunted by old patterns and it totally sucks. Some days, I am aware of old patterns and don't care to change it back. Then some days I kick myself for being so blatantly disrespectful to myself and the work that I have accomplished. There is a learning curve.
Jillian really tapped into something again for me today. I got it again. This time for reals.
I have been avoiding things, people, ideas, promptings and that is regression. This will manifest in ways that I will be mad about "happenings to me later" and I am better than that. I am sorry.
Everything is a choice. Everything. No exceptions. That is deep.
So, the prompting came to make a list. Make a list of the things that I would like to do on a day like today.
The list includes:
-I want to spend quality time with my kids, NO TV
-I want to read 2 Ensign articles, and 2 chapters from the scriptures
-I want to do 2 loads of laundry
-I want to make a healthy dinner
-I want to put all the files from the file cabinet in to boxes- (the cabinet needs to go)
-I want to have patience ALL day with Lucy
-I want to meditate for 15 min quietly
-I want to start 1 project on our house to-do list
-I want to say both my morning and nighttime prayers

-I want to stay strict with my 1200 calorie intake- that is going to be fun since I just went to eat at the Creperie for Jenny and Katie's Birthday's

-I want to make a phone call to someone who needs to hear a cheerful voice

-I want to say kind words all day, to my body, to my children, to my husband, to anyone I speak to (even when talking about others)

-I want to go to bed by 10:30pm
-I want to turn away the negative and only let the good in my life
-I want to act in a way that attracts the good things that I deserve
-I want to put my intentions of a buyer for this home who will pay our asking price.

I now want to clean up what is left of the phone book since Peter just destroyed it while I am typing this up!

I have been dreaming of summer vacation. I am so ready for August.
Doesn't this look so relaxing.

Day 39 of 60lbs

I am down again!
1 more
pound.
Whoo hooo!
Still got some catching up to do, and some nutritional re-fining.
I got some new tunes from i-tunes... THE E.N.D
I love the B.E.P's.

Day 38 of 60lbs

The weather is terrible here and has been for a LONG time now.

The sun hasn't shone in Forever.

It is really depressing especially coming from a girl with DEEP roots in AZ!

On the happier side of the depressing weather... D.C is getting pounded with FEET of snow and we have only seen a couple of inches. BUT.... out of the last 4 days... Superman's schedule has been cancelled!

***Warning: the next topic I am about to blog has some anatomically correct language.***

I have a bone to pick with gym NaZI and her "gym etiquette"-

I was finished with my work out the other day and I always always always go wash my hands with 3 pumps of soap and HOT water after I am done working out. I walked into the locker room which I might add is nicely arranged so as to be somewhat private.
As I walked in I saw a woman bare-naked with her areolas for all the world to see.
Now seriously honey? Turn around. Go into the dressing stall, or go where you are not in plain sight of EVERYONE to see! All I wanted to do was wash my hands. Instead I got a full on frontal! Now let's discuss "etiquette"

no, let's don't.

Just turn around please. Keep your areolas to yourself.

Day 37 of 60lbs

I started taking a supplement called L-Glutamine.
I have talked a few times to a trainer at the gym and she sells it. I got suckered into it a little... but after all I did ask what her "pink" drink was, so I kind of brought it upon myself. It is black cherry and tastes sour and is gritty. I don't know how I am going to get through 60 servings of this stuff.
But suppposedly it is AMAZ-A-Zing... so we'll see.
I love this trainer. Her name is Cher. She is SUPER in-your-face like "yah" (did you feel the valley girl, head shaking, big open mouth with super blonde ponytail head bobbing when you just said "yah?" .. cause that is how she does it)
She is funny. She is also REALLY intense. SHE could be my Jillian in Charleston. Hmmmm?
I don't feel like I NEED a trainer, yet, but if I do decide to get one... I am pretty sure it will be her.
I am talking nice today. My body feels good.
BL is on tonight... Whoo hoo! I love it.

Day 36 of 60lbs

I did weigh in on Thursday.

I was down
8 lbs
total for the 1st month.

Although that is a feat in itself, it is not quite the 10 that I need to make the goal of 10 pounds a month for 60 in 6. I am a little bummed. I totally regressed these last few days. I was feeling pretty down and defeated and I ate Oreo's, and some other stuff.
Then I got a call from my former lovely neighbor Mary.
She reminded me to
"talk nice to your body."

I am not talking nice to my body, and I am certainly not thinking good thoughts about my body. I am going to change that. I know that the power of positive thinking WILL manifest whatever I want.

I KNOW this, I believe this, I am witness to this in my life.

My self-image has always been negative.
At 10 years old I have very vivid memories of thinking "my thighs are huge"
I believed it, and I thought others did as well.
I went through some challenges in my freshman year of High School. I was borderline anorexic. I harbored many emotions that were swirling around me constantly. Things and emotions that some people should not have to endure in their lifetime, let alone while in crucial teenage years. I was scared, and I deserved validation for my endurance. It really never came, and so I turned to a place where I could control something- food.
Luckily the anorexia passed without any repercussions, but the desire for an "ideal" body image remained so devastatingly skewed.
I am still in that place of a skewed body image. I know that. I accept that. And I am going to change that. But I am changing that in a way that is healthy and real.
I am not after a celebrity body image. I am after Wholeness.- like "Remembering Wholeness"
I deserve the things that I desire as long as they are in line with what is good and my intentions are pure.
My intentions are pure here and I desire a healthy body and an even healthier body image.
There are days when it is really hard. There are days when I feel like I am on a high because I am so proud of myself. I wish those days came much more frequently. And I know that in time they will and I will be able to leave these negative thoughts in a very distant past.

I am going to work on
"talking nice"

My body deserves that. My energy deserves that. My family deserves that.

So here is to talking nice and re-adjusting my thoughts.

Happy Monday.

Day 31 of 60lbs

I like to mix it up a little bit at the gym with my cardio sometimes.
So, today I did 20 mins on the treadmill, with various inclines and mixed running and walking. I like to side-step for a few mins on each side too, for agility. I sometimes walk backwards which makes my thighs really burn and I like it.
After the treadmill I went over to the upright bike for 20 more mins. The gym just got new bikes and I LOVE THEM. The are super comfy and have a thousand programs and a small built in fan that shoots right on your face!
So awesome.

1 more thing... I went to the DMV today.
GROSS.
and nobody knows what they are doing.!
WHY????

Since I haven't posted very many pictures lately... I thought my blog needed some spice, and some sugar. So here are some lovely valentine things.

Enjoy.

**Images taken from flickr. dana from made. such pretty things. carpe diem. and the purl bee.

Day 30 of 60lbs

My legs are starting to take a nice shape... atleast one that is different than what I have been used to looking at in the 10 foot mirrors at the gym. So to me that is "nice."

I broke down at the grocery store last night. I bought some "Healthy Choice" frozen meals.
They were on sale and only 380 cals each. I couldn't resist the margherita chicken in angel hair pasta with basalmic sauce. The picture looks delicious. I will give an update soon!
I figure at least it is something different and since Superman is working nights this month I am usually not in the mood to make a full dinner.... so, I am going to take a whirl with the frozen variety.

Warmer days are hopefully upon us soon! Lucy is beginning to get cabin fever and in turn driving me a little bonkers. Luckily we have been able to play with friends the last few days!
.
.
.

My sewing machine is calling to me!
I need a fix
{REAL}
bad.

Day 29 of 60lbs

The weekend was good.

Simple.

I didn't quite make it to organizing everything... but as Tiffany said... make a list and tackle one thing at a time. Thanks Tiffany! I will take your advice.
I did however go crazy on the V-day clippies!

8 people
will be receiving packages this week... not including the 2 local lovlies that we have already hand delivered to!

Snow fell upon us heavily Friday night... which made for a day full of pajamas, cleaning and crafting ALL day!
Superman did in fact have to work... and luckily worked his super powers and made it home Saturday night.... Oh thank goodness!

After working out this morning -which I talked to Cindy during my entire cardio session and it was so nice and made the time FLY by!- I got home and checked the mail.
The jury duty heavens were looking down upon me and EXCUSED me from the 8 week trial!
-Oh the joys of motherhood sure do come in handy sometimes!

The sun was shining extra shiny today. I could barely see the car in front of me while I was running some errands. It was so beautiful.

I am going to do my weigh in this week on Thursday since that will mark the end of Month 1.

The downside is that I am retaining a little extra water this week- thank you "womanhood"
Oh well.. It all evens out in the end right!?!

Off to bed I go...
and Mr. Sunshine, please come out again tomorrow, please.