Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Day 44 of 60lbs

I made a list this morning.
A long list.
A list of things that I want to do today.
It started like this: I was at the gym early (around 7am), I thought instead of just looking at my circuit training routine I would actually read the book while on the bike. I have read through it before. It is really good. I mean REALLY good. I know that it is no secret that I LOVE Jillian Michaels, but she is truly a genius.
A few years ago I did a lot of "self-healing" and it goes deeper than just reading some books or talking nice to myself or about others. It was deep. I know myself better than I would like to at times but I do and I am proud of that.
Some days, I am haunted by old patterns and it totally sucks. Some days, I am aware of old patterns and don't care to change it back. Then some days I kick myself for being so blatantly disrespectful to myself and the work that I have accomplished. There is a learning curve.
Jillian really tapped into something again for me today. I got it again. This time for reals.
I have been avoiding things, people, ideas, promptings and that is regression. This will manifest in ways that I will be mad about "happenings to me later" and I am better than that. I am sorry.
Everything is a choice. Everything. No exceptions. That is deep.
So, the prompting came to make a list. Make a list of the things that I would like to do on a day like today.
The list includes:
-I want to spend quality time with my kids, NO TV
-I want to read 2 Ensign articles, and 2 chapters from the scriptures
-I want to do 2 loads of laundry
-I want to make a healthy dinner
-I want to put all the files from the file cabinet in to boxes- (the cabinet needs to go)
-I want to have patience ALL day with Lucy
-I want to meditate for 15 min quietly
-I want to start 1 project on our house to-do list
-I want to say both my morning and nighttime prayers

-I want to stay strict with my 1200 calorie intake- that is going to be fun since I just went to eat at the Creperie for Jenny and Katie's Birthday's
-I want to make a phone call to someone who needs to hear a cheerful voice
-I want to say kind words all day, to my body, to my children, to my husband, to anyone I speak to (even when talking about others)
-I want to go to bed by 10:30pm
-I want to turn away the negative and only let the good in my life
-I want to act in a way that attracts the good things that I deserve
-I want to put my intentions of a buyer for this home who will pay our asking price.

I now want to clean up what is left of the phone book since Peter just destroyed it while I am typing this up!

I have been dreaming of summer vacation. I am so ready for August.
Doesn't this look so relaxing.


Natalie said...


Taylor, Marisha, and Bryn said...

I haven't checked your blog for a couple months and was thrilled with this new surprise! I am totally going to follow you, and I have no doubt you will do it. I am totally motivated to go organize a closet! :) Hope you are surviving all the East Coast snow!

elizabeth said...

This post makes me feel extremely guilty. I had no idea you had so much planned for yesterday. I'm sorry I came over and bugged you for hours and hours. That was not my intention, you're just too easy to hang out with.

Sorry Kristen.

Kristen said...

E- it was actually kind of perfect! I was just busy enough to fit it all in without thinking about procrastinating! I came home and had to get all my things done. It was perfect. I can't tell you how many times yesterday I thought to myself, "this is such a perfect day" while we were out. I miss going places with people. I had a great time and you did not bug me! Even if I got nothing done on my list I would have been so happy cause I had something other than the monotony that I am used to. So I am thanking you. Thank you! <3